My Story

A Sensitive Soul

Growing up, I always felt a little different. My schoolmates sometimes called me weird—not because I was troublesome, but because my interests and actions were unusual compared to theirs. At home, my family teased me for being dreamy and sensitive, especially when I was moved to tears. I often wondered why I felt things so deeply and had so many questions about life. One question always lingered: “Why do people follow the same pattern—being born, going to school, working, raising a family, striving for success, growing old, and then passing away? There must be something more to life than this.” Even though I didn’t have the answer, I found myself following that flow, often feeling disconnected, but always trying to fit in.

New Beginnings in Canada

Life took an exciting turn when I moved to Canada, full of hope to secure a job and support my family’s future. While waiting for my application’s approval, I began helping family and friends organize and clean their homes. Creating comfortable, organized spaces came naturally to me, so lending a hand felt joyful and easy. Seeing everyone so happy with the results was deeply rewarding. One friend even told me, “I slept well for the first time in a long time.” Another, a native Canadian lady, overheard and said, “Decluttering clears negative energy.”

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That simple comment opened new doors for me. I organized her home, she introduced me to smudging, and soon my curiosity about crystals and spiritual tools blossomed. I discovered a metaphysical shop, and the public library became a sanctuary filled with books on everything that fascinated me. I even had my first Reiki session. For the first time in years, I felt alive and right at home. I spent my days reading,  meditating, journaling, exercising, dancing, singing, volunteering, and nourishing myself in ways I had long craved.

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Returning Home and Rediscovering Myself

Even good things must come to an end. When immigration rules changed, my plans fell apart, and I had no choice but to return home. While I was grateful to be reunited with my family, I couldn’t shake the feeling of defeat. Little by little, I lost interest in the work I had been doing for years. Eventually, I quit, drained and lifeless. I knew I was on a path of self-destruction, yet I had neither the energy nor the clarity to begin again. 

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Sensing how much I was struggling, my husband invited me to join him in Japan. While there, I received a Reiki session and attunement, earning my First Degree Reiki certification. The healing that followed in the weeks ahead was undeniable. As I read more about Reiki, I also discovered Modern Guide to Energy Clearing by Barbara Moore—a pivotal book that helped me understand myself more deeply. It revealed why I was naturally drawn to energy-clearing practices, many of which I had already been doing without fully realizing their impact. From then on, I chose to make these practices intentional.

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This journey also led me to confront the clutter I had ignored for so long. It was daunting, but step by step, transformation came—and every effort was worth it. Clearing my space created a ripple effect: it breathed new life into me. I began meditating again and deepened my spiritual practices.

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What I discovered was a process of self-rediscovery. The flaws I once thought defined me turned out to be my strengths. I no longer see myself as absent-minded, but contemplative. Where I once saw being “too emotional,” I now recognize empathy. My love for order and cleanliness, once dismissed as unimportant, I now see as a gift. Today, I embrace myself fully. I know I am meant to show up and share these gifts with others. 

The Calling of Vanilla Lily

Around this time, I was reading The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart. In it, I came across a native Australian bloom called the Vanilla Lily — a flower that symbolizes the Ambassador of Love. The meaning struck me deeply. Not only because my name is Lily, but because its message felt like a calling. It reminded me that my journey—through sensitivity, struggle, rediscovery, and healing—was leading me here.

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